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A Martian Wouldn't Say That!!



Stay Tuned for Updated Edition Coming Soon!

A wildly funny exposé of actual memos and numbing notes from network executives

A hilarious exposé of the absurdities inflicted upon television\'s creative community by network executives and the watchdogs at Broadcast Standards and Practices.

To wit:

"Will War and Peace be based on the book?"

"I think you\'re making a mistake having so many French involved in the production of Les Miserables."

From the V.P. of current programming regarding the Fred Astaire Special: "Too much dancing."

Whether it\'s a mishmash of M*A*S*H or a harangue over Hamlet, each absurd comment makes one thing perfectly clear - never put anything in writing!

Write Screenplays That Sell - The Ackerman Way


20th Anniversary Edition

Newly Revised and Updated 2021 Edition featuring Moonlight, La La Land, Juno, Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad and many more current films and TV shows.

Write Screenplays That Sell
The Ackerman Way

“Hal Ackerman’s new book is exceptional.”

-Scr(i)pt magazine, May/June 2004

“…this [book] will become one of the more popular screenwriting books out there.”

-Screentalk magazine, January 2004

“Here is another excellent screenwriting book. Very important addition to your screenwriting library.”

-Script magazine, Summer Book Review 2004

That's How Much I Love You


The perfect gift for anyone in love!

That’s How Much I Love You

Think of all the kisses you ever received…
on your lips and your cheeks
and your neck and your shoulders
and every place on your body
from the top of your head
to the tip of your small toe…
Count up every blossom that’s ever bloomed.
All the sunsets since the dawn of man.
The wattage of the north star’s glow…
That’s How Much I Love You.

The Grandfather Thing


A Smile on every page!

The Grandfather Thing
(A Warmly Comic Memoir)

If you believe that your brand new grandchild is the most beautiful creation in the world, you’ve got “The Grandfather Thing.” If you find yourself showing baby pictures to strangers, you’ve got “The Grandfather Thing.” And if you belive that you’re above all this sentimatnality and frivolousness, maintaining a cool objectivity, you’re in denial and have the most severe case of “The Grandfather Thing!” In this warmly comic memoir of grandson Mac’s first year, humorist Saul Terteltaub – who believes he’s immune to “The Grandfather Thing” – is converted from objective bystander to super enthusiast as “The Grandfather Thing” works its wonders on his psyche. 

The Sibling Thing


Max is back, and he’s got a little brother!

The Sibling Thing
How I Went from Prince to Pest in Four Short Years

In his Tallfellow bestseller, The Grandfather Thing, Saul Turteltaub created a warmly comic memoir of his grandson Max’s first year, highlighted with Max’s “own” commentary and sage observations.

Now three years old, Max faces "a new kid in town" with the arrival of Baby Brother Ross...

Compliments of the Chef


Now, L.A.’s most popular recipes can be made anytime, anywhere!

Home cooking never looked or tasted like this!

Compliments of the Chef

Great recipes from great restaurants, Los Angeles

A unique collection of 33 endlessly imaginative recipes from the world-class chefs who work their culinary magic at Southern California’s most famous restaurants! Now the home-based “chef” can wow dinner guests with these sumptuous savories from celebrated eating spots, or simply create a romantic evening, topped with inspiring cuisine.

Painted Prayers


Winner of NAPRA’s 2003 Nautilus Award

A beautiful book of prayer and comfort.

painted prayers
imagination and comfort for a questioning world

Wisdom and prayers from many of the world’s ancient and modern spiritual traditions and beliefs.

Inspired full-color paintings by artist Jody Uttal beautifully capture the powerful words of the masters.

The Comfort Book


The Comfort Book

May 2010 – Recommended by Jane Brody, Personal Health columnist for The New York Times, in her May 17th column.

Psychotherapist, social worker and writer Jane Seskin offers a practical approach to easing one’s way through life’s difficult moments. The Comfort Book presents a wide variety of tranquil thoughts and actions for self-healing.

A Nation Lost and Found


Personal memories from a tumultuous period in American history!

A Nation Lost and Found
1936 America Remember by Ordinary and Extraordinary People

A Nation Lost and Found provides an extraordinary look at the moving personal stories of people who lived through the turbulent mid-1930s – a period in which the spirit of the individual, and the collective spirit of a nation, were awakened.

City Hall: The Heart of Los Angeles


The heart of Los Angeles!

City Hall

The beautiful drawings and fascinating story in City Hall provide an adventure in art and history that takes parents and children on a colorful tour of Los Angeles’ famous landmark.

Pet's Best Friend


What do best friends do?
Play Dress up?
Tell secrets?
Curl up together??

Pet’s Best Friend

You’ll find out when Pet’s Best Friend lets the cat out of the bag. Get the real scoop from animals of every shape and size as they tell their innermost thoughts about the kids they own.



“Only a person with Friedl’s humanity, tenacity and artistic genius could have had the strength and courage to teach Tein’s children how to draw and how to cope.”

-Rabbi Abraham Cooper,
Simon Wiesenthal Center


The works of Friedl Dicker-Brandeis are currently being shown at the Jewish Museum in New York City through January 2005. The exhibit has already been to Vienna, Paris, Berlin, Tokyo, Stockhold, Prague and Atlanta and will be in Dallas and other American cities in the future.